Monday, June 16, 2014

CHAPTER 21

Chapter 21

*Debbie Dong*
The flashback of Mom’s death from so many years ago suddenly pierces my mind. Running away and leaving her behind as the man shot her, killed her. Running away and not looking back.
I could take off like that again, I could run away and stay safe. Or I could save Sophia, and die like Mom did.
I remember the devastated look on Gene’s face when Sophia volunteered to undertake the mission. He knew that she’d probably die; she was a strategist, not a field agent. I remember how Ruiran’s death had struck me so hard, though I hadn’t even really known her. I remember the helplessness I’d felt, watching the visions of Leo being tortured, of him dying.
I can’t let Gene feel that kind of pain, ever. Sophia is too important to die. I, on the other hand? I’m not important. Leo will be fine without me. He’ll find someone else, he can live out the rest of his life in peace. He’ll be fine.
I can die.
It’s not really a choice, for me. There’s no doubt in my mind.
I know exactly what I will do.

I run at Christy, screaming at the top of my lungs, barreling into her. Her eyes open wide with surprise as she whirls around to meet me too late. I grab her wrists and twist her arms behind her, rendering them useless. We fall to the ground.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Sophia bolt. Just a few more seconds and she’ll be safe. I can give her that. I have to.
I hold on tight to Christy as she smashes me against the wall.
Sophia gets out of Christy’s line of fire at last. My grip slackens; my strength is spent.
With a final scream of rage, Christy flips me off of her and stands over me, raising one hand in a fist. A brilliant beam of light erupts from it, flashing green and red and violet all at once. It glows, encompassing her fist for a millisecond. Then it heads straight at me.
I am going to die.

In those last seconds, I remember my promise to Leo, standing on the hill with him, reassuring him as tears fell down his cheeks, trying to calm his fear that it would be the last time we ever spoke.
“I’ll be okay.”
“You promise?”
“I promise.”
A world of words left unsaid in that moment.
Why didn’t I tell him? Why couldn’t I say those three words, “I love you”?
So much regret.
I’ll be okay. I promise. My final words to Leo echo in my ears.
My last promise to Leo, and I broke it. Will he ever forgive me?
I promise.
Everything comes rushing back to me, my life flashing before my eyes. As I relive the events, I notice things that I’d never seen before. The fire in Leo’s eyes as he grabbed my hand, trying to pull me to safety on the day this all started, the desperation in his voice as he screamed my name over and over again. The way he looked at me, crouched under the shelter of the tree, as if I were the only thing in the world. The anguish written on his face, his eyes begging me to stay with him, trying to hold me back even as his arms let me go.
And I realize. I finally realize.
Leo needs me in this world, needs me to stay with him, needs me to come back and be okay.
Leo loves me.

“Wait,” I sputter as I teeter on the edge between life and death. “I’m... I’m not done... not yet...” My fingers fumble towards my vision of Leo, but his face just gets farther and farther away.
I’m fading, fading away from the living world, fading away from Leo.
I have to fight the darkness, I can’t let it consume me. I’m not done yet. Leo is waiting. I have to see him. I have to tell him, I have to tell him that I love him.
No. My strength ebbs, and I know what is about to happen. That I am about to die.
Desperately, with the last wisp of energy left in me, I call out to him, raising my eyes to the heavens, praying for some miracle to happen. For him to hear me.
“Leo, I...”
It’s too late. He can’t hear me now. He’ll never hear me. He’ll never know how much I love him.
“Leo,” I whisper.
I collapse against the ground, unable to hold onto the world tilting around me.
I’m sorry, Leo.

A flash of light, and I sink into the depths of darkness.
I love you.

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